How to eat a mango at your desk
I love mangoes and eat them often. This morning, I thought Wouldn’t it be great if I ate a mango at work? As it turns out, it was great. However, I have learned some valuable information about the process and so I thought I’d provide this helpful guide on how to eat them properly while in your cube at work.
- Lay out a napkin or a tissue or something else completely inadequate to absorb the juice you are about to subject it to.
- Place mango on napkin; realize simultaneously you did not bring a knife or other sharp instrument with you.
- Check kitchen for knife; find nothing.
- Find pair of new scissors with office supplies.
- Use wide open scissors to cut around the mango along its length; cut similarly around the center, dividing it into quarters.
- Use edge of scissors to peel back skin on one of the sections.
- Attempt to chisel away as much mango as possible from the pit on the skinless section.
- Eventually give up and simply bite at mango flesh.
- Continue like this, eating the other section until you realize you’re late for a meeting.
- Upon returning from the meeting continue to peel, chisel and devour mango.
- When done feasting upon the mango walk - somewhat ashamed - with hands and scissors covered in juice to the kitchen area; clean up face and hands.
- Return to your cube and realize that during the meeting the napkin fused with the desk.
- Use scissors to scrape mango infused napkin from desk.
- Vow never to be without scissors again.







